Goodbye in a Thousand Languages

"A guy told me one time, don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."-Robert De Niro, Heat (1995)

Have this song running while reading this blog:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-_dkKK062w

I broke my own rule not even within two months. Luckily a good friend was there to guide me. I was foolishly hounding a girl I barely knew. All I know is she was staring at me and I stared back. This girl I haven't heard of my whole life has suddenly become it. Marcus tells me this is a foolish pursuit, that dreams come first. And I have a big one. I've decided to give her up. Sure I'll see her and she'll see me every weekend, but falling in love is not worth a pause in my life. This whole ordeal has given me a mirror into which I've seen my own friends, their true faces in such a circumstance. Jealousy and betrayal are just two of the many words I can use to describe them. It seems people I thought were friends would leave me in a second for a girl, the same one I'm trying to hook up with. Enough was said at the pool hall last night when three of them left Abdi and I at our table to go talk to women, for about an hour.
The only solution is to forfeit my pursuit and stop this altogether. As a friend of mine put as his facebook status last week, "Focus on women and you get less done," I see how right you've come to be. I'll never invest attention in her again.
My mother and father left each other when I was a year old, I've seen love crumble before my very eyes. I may be just as confused on the subject as you reading this. I'm still deciding whether such a thing exists. Because if there is marriage, but no heaven, then you only have a lifetime to spend with each other. After that, if human existence vanishes into thin air, a black vacuum of nothingness, what to do? That's why I believe immortality only exists on Earth, and I've made clear my definition of it; do spectacular things in your lifetime and be remembered forever. Or else be raked away with the leaves of the past where you are remembered for no more than a generation. Thetis, Achilles' sea-dwelling mother told him in The Iliad that he could either live a life of happiness at home or fight at Troy and die only to be remembered forever. He of course fought and died in Troy.
Think about your great-grandparents or great-great-grandparents. Do you still think about them? Be honest. I want my children for generations to know what I was about.
I feel somehow that this is all a sort of mindset training. Makes sense because the only thing coming out of this sacrifice is strength. If that's so, then soon I'll be powerful and no, working out won't save you from heartbreak.